One month ago my beloved Grandmother passed away. She was a strong, independent woman and one whom I looked up to dearly. Since her passing I have struggled with accepting that she is actually gone from this earth. I still have vivid dreams about her, which leaves me feeling empty like I lost of my biggest support systems. One of the last conversations her and I ever had, before the cancer took away her ability to speak, was that no matter what comes of this world, she would always remain with me. She promised that even when she is physically not around, her spirit would still look after me.
During a recent trip to Dallas there were two main events that occurred that led me to believe that she is fulfilling her promise of looking out for me, my own guardian angel. Some may call them simple coincidences but in my mind and heart that stem a little deeper than that.
Butterflies are seen to represent a change in life or a rebirth. In some cultures it is actually a belief that a butterfly represents the soul of a person who was close to you and passed away. When my Grandpa died back in 1999, my Grandma was the first to tell me about the butterflies. I distinctly remember the summer after losing my Grandpa, a butterfly landing on me during our family’s annual trip up north. My Grandma smiled and told me about the legends of the butterflies- a tiny representation of someone’s soul, letting you know they are okay.
During the Dave Matthews Band concert last Saturday, I was enjoying an amazing show when suddenly my focused momentarily shifted from the usual Stage Left to slight right where I spotted a butterfly floating near the stage. It was checking out other people, checking out the rail then eventually landed on the front of the stage, almost directly in front of me. I smiled to myself, remembering what my Grandmother had told me but not sure if this was a sign because the butterfly wasn’t super close to me. However, my mind was changed when DMB changed gears and started playing a song called “Granny.” I immediately got watery eyes and chills. I could feel her presence around me again and somehow knew this butterfly was her way of telling me she was alright.
My Grandma was an avid supporter of my crazy, live by the seat of my pants lifestyle. Randomly finding myself in another state for a concert. She loved it. At her funeral many of her coworkers approached me and told me how proud she was of my travels and how they knew so much about them because she was always talking about them. The background of her phone was even a photo of me and Dave Matthews. She always wanted to hear about my experiences and in this moment it felt as if she was actually getting a chance to experience my passion with me.
Coincidence, fate or a guardian angel took my side again during this exact trip. The original plan of my trip to Texas was to road trip down from Minneapolis with a friend. The week or two before the trip however, plans changed because of a dance conflict I suddenly had on Sunday evening. I wanted to get back to Minneapolis in time so we were forced to change our plans around and book flights last minute to and from Texas. As it turns out, this was a last minute decision that very well could have saved our lives.
As many of you have now heard about the horrible tornados in Texas and Oklahoma, it was a natural disaster that is filled with horrendous sadness that couldn’t be stopped. Had my plans remained the same with the road trip, my friend and I would have been in Oklahoma at the time of the storms.
Some may question or think it’s silly and just a simple coincidence, but, I believe it is the small sounds of something greater than me, protecting, and reassuring that things will be okay. I truly believe it is in some way my Grandma fulfilling her promise to always be around, even when she’s gone, loving me and being my Guardian Angel.