Sitting on the bench, the sun beat down, the sand brushed onto my bare-legs and my love sat beside me- in that moment life felt content. David and I were on a Sunday bike ride- riding down to the ocean, along the pier then making our way circling the Bay, trying to soak in as much sunshine and good weather as we could. With a city that beams the mantra, “No Bad Days” we were actually on our second trip today with this route- once with coffee and donuts in the morning on foot and once in the afternoon on bikes.
Basking in the sun, looking out onto the horizon, my heart was full. Lyrics from Zac Brown Band danced in my head, “I’ve got everything I need, and nothing that I don’t”. How true does that sentence feel? The sun would soon be setting, marking the end to another weekend and another Thanksgiving. Sunday’s are both my favorite and most dreaded day of the week.
I love how calm our small beach town of Pacific Beach feels on a Sunday morning, being that a large percentage are either hung-over tourists or still in bed- I love when Dave and I can sneak out in the early hours and be the only ones in sight. I love having the entire day to snuggle up, be active and take in every single minute of the sun. On the other hand, I dread the feeling of Sunday’s coming to an end. I dread the feeling of Monday morning, when the alarm clock goes off, when we are ripped from the fantasy life of the weekend and thrown back into the reality of day-to-day living. It’s hard to go back to the late nights and long days of work with limited time actually seeing Dave. At times, I have to remind myself, it’s just another week beginning- the long distance is over but, sometimes the long distance feels all too real when the days are long and the time together is limited.
This particular Sunday was especially bittersweet, leaving the long Holiday Weekend. I felt spoiled that we were given four days of uninterrupted quality time- filled however we desired. We spent Thanksgiving in Laguna Beach. Wining, dining and bundled up by the fire. We indulged in a small gathering with Dave’s aunt; it sure made me miss my own family back in Minnesota. Most days, I don’t mind being away on my own. It’s the life I chose after all, but when the holiday’s come around sometimes I begin to miss the comforts of home. I miss the hugs from parents, the laughs with my siblings and the cuddles with the nieces and nephews. We can’t have it all but oh how sometimes I wish we could.
Back on our bench, overlooking Mission Bay, I asked Dave is there was any wish left unfulfilled for his time in San Diego. Looking directly into my eyes, he slowly said,” All I wanted was to have you here with me, I’ve done everything else.” Resting my head on his shoulder, we took into a few more moments on our bench. I prayed that we could have simple moments like this forever, that we could enjoy hundreds of sunsets, view more stars than we could count and find a new way to fall in love each day.
I don’t need a lot. What I seek is simple- a job that keeps me afloat, a lover who makes me feel beautiful, a friend to rest with, a house to lay my head, travels to keep me inspired and a family that keeps me together. I often struggle with my anxieties for life- yearning for more, losing the moment in search for more and not feeling like I am accomplishing enough. My goal for the rest of the Sundays is to relax, breathe and be in the moment. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.