Late night lasagna, wine and good friends almost always leads to one thing; good conversation. And this night was no different. On the menu for conversation-
“We aren’t meant to be with one person forever.”
The two males were set on this thought- we weren’t meant to be monogamous. I was completely caught off guard by the two of them making this statement. Like most my girlfriends, I am a hopeless romantic. Always dreaming of that great love fairytale that could happen in life. So this thought is not a pleasant one in my mind. Unfortunately for me, they aren’t the first one’s in the past month to share this thought with me. It seemed to become more and more common amongst my friends. They laid out their points and arguments as I listened quietly, sipping wine and contemplating their words.
Point 1- we are constantly changing and evolving as humans. We change dramatically over the course of a lifetime. We are different people from our teenage years to our 20s and then continue to grow well into our 30s and 40s. They argued how can you be genuinely happy with the same person who is changing as well.
Point 2- They know NO ONE who is happily married for more than 10 years. This point was quickly changed to- ‘the only people I know who are actually happy are horribly boring.’ -__- I thought over my life and wondered how many marriages I could find that involved two genuinely happy people- not many.
Point 3- “Life is more fun to be able to do various things with various people.” This one I can contradict with one word; friends. Seriously, isn’t that what friends are for? Why does this mean you can’t be in love and happy with one person?
At first, I couldn’t help but wonder if this is just an excuse single people give themselves after a few failed relationships. I think we’ve all been there with that. “Oh, that jerk left me cold. Maybe we are all meant to be single forever!” No likely. However, that mustn’t be true since one of my best friends has given me this same opinion before- and she’s in a three-year relationship. (womp)
Next I thought, is this just a selfish stance on marriage? Did anyone ever say it was easy? And honestly, is anyone ever genuinely happy all of the time? Maybe some marriages are better off ending but surly there has to be some that work and the two halves are happy and full of love?
Then I decided, maybe it’s true for some people. Maybe some people don’t want a single love forever but that doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone is programmed that way. Do we have that one person we are meant to be with? Or, are we meant to be with various people throughout life- each one bringing out a new side of us? Or, as humans, are we lucky enough to get to see both sides of the argument. Dating around until we find the one that makes us not want to date and maybe, just maybe, we can make it last forever.