Somewhere after an exciting end of summer road trip, seemingly endless amounts of fun and a constant flow of guests in and out of our house, I found myself hit in the face with reality. September had arrived and I was suddenly in major need of work and a schedule. Anxious to get started with both, I soon found myself craving the desire to be back in the studio, molding young minds and bodies to become the most beautiful of dancers.
I hadn’t thought much about missing home or anything because the idea of moving away hadn’t completely sunk in. To me, it was just an extended vacation. I think somewhere in my mind I believed that when the road trips were done and the DMB shows had wrapped up I would be heading back to Minneapolis to start work back up with my kids at the studio. However, I quickly found that not to be the case. I woke up one Monday and my Facebook feed was flooded with Dance Moms, old co-workers and SMDA studio updates about classes starting, sadly, I wasn’t there. The place that had literally been my life for the past few years was continuing on without me. Wait a minute; those are my dancers that are being posted about, why was I not involved. Oh yea, because I’m not there anymore. I think it was finally starting to sink in. I’m not there. I no longer live in Minneapolis. That is no longer my life. I spent most the day trying to avoid it but also couldn’t help myself and gave in and contacted some of my old co-workers and boss. It was nice to hear from old faces but my heart was heavy with the thought of missing what was going on at the studio. I assured myself that the next day when I started at my new studio, everything would feel okay again.
Wrong. When I finished up my first night of work I was heartbroken and crying. Upset. I missed my dancers and my old boss. The new place wasn’t bad, it was just different. They kids were sweethearts and the co-workers were fabulous. It just was a different. I had no attachment to the kids, as I shouldn’t since I just met them. However, it was hard to go to a studio and not have the constant Miss Brittany hugs and love that I had been spoiled with at SMDA. I cried on my drive home, wondering if I had made a mistake with moving. I was quickly assured that wasn’t the case and deep down I knew so too. I knew that this was exactly what I needed and what I should be doing. I knew that I needed to continue to grow by pushing past what was comfortable. I needed to un-spoil myself and find a new group of kids to help mold into the next generation of fierce and fabulous young adults.
Carrying on with the week, my friends and parents assured me that things would work out and that it wouldn’t be long before I felt comfortable and loved by this new set of dancers. I hoped they were right. When I went to work next, I felt a little more at ease. I thought about my old students and tried to remember things that I did that they loved and used those positive thoughts to gear my night into a great night of great classes. When the night was over I felt better about it and a little more at home. When I went to the staff room, my new boss and two co-workers were mingling about the evening. I worked my way into the conversation for a bit, trying to let my usually out-going personality shine through. When I went to leave, my boss exclaimed, “When can I get you to do my hair like that? It’s wonderful!” The smile spread across my face as I laughed, thinking about SMDA and how proud some of my kids would be to know I brought my poof with me to Seattle. I assured her I would do her hair next week at the studio. With that, I felt at home again.
When you start over from scratch with almost nothing but the smile on your face it’s sometimes hard to remember the reasons you are doing so. It’s hard to not want to give up and go home every time something doesn’t go picture perfect. But, if you focus on the good and find those little things each day that make you smile and put you to ease, it won’t be so bad. You’ll feel at home in no time even if it’s something as simple as your poof.