“…Make my way back home when I learn to fly…” The lyrics danced around my packed car, as I turned left onto Interstate-90, taking the first step of thousands, making my way west. I was leaving the place I had called home for twenty-three years in search for love, happiness and a new life. I was excited; I was finally flying and feeling free.
It’s been two years ago since I headed west and I have (almost) never looked back.
Sometimes I cannot believe it’s only been two years- most days it feels like way more. I of course, haven’t figured out my life like I intended to when I left, but it some ways I believe it’s probably better that I don’t. As someone once told me, “Honey, you’ll never have it all figured out- so don’t waste your time trying to.” As much as we try, we never have everything figured out, so instead I’ve been living by the ‘just what’s next’ mindset. Each step isn’t permanent; it’s just the next step. The beauty in life is that it’s fluid and we are able to change directions at any given time. Which, if you ask me, is a much more freeing thought.
This week, during one of my barre class my instructor reminded us “Life begins only when you step outside your comfort zone.” It dawned on me then, it was my anniversary of my own life re-beginning. August 1st will always be “my day.” It will always be a special day in my heart. The day I left everything I thought I wanted to find what I never knew I was missing.
Coincidentally, today I also stumbled upon an old note I wrote on my last night in Minnesota. I had troubles falling asleep the night before I left, and I kept waking up, tossing and turning second-guessing what was about to come. In it, I detailed my doubts and uncertainties along with my excitement and my nervousness. I was doing it. I was moving away. I had never driven that far on my own, and wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.
Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It was my time. It was my time to venture out into the world and create a life for myself. Even as I stumbled and take a few steps back every so often, I will always look back and smile and be so proud to have made that first step.
No ‘what’s if’s’ just do it.